40 down

June 13, 2009

I have officially lost 40 pounds! When I started losing weight, I don’t think I ever could have imagined losing that much!

I know I’m technically in maintenance mode right now but I told myself I’d be okay with losing a couple more pounds as long as I wasn’t consciously trying to diet. And I haven’t been, so I’m completely fine with dropping a few more pounds. I think it’s mainly due to being busy! When I’m keeping busy, I don’t have as much time to snack and I’m also on my feet more.

My limit is 130 though – I don’t want to go below that since I have a larger frame and there are already some areas on my body that are quite slim at my current weight so I don’t think my body would be comfortable weighing less than that. I’m still not 100% satisfied with my legs but I’m trying to love them the way they are. I carry my weight in my hips and thighs and I always have so I’m sure even if I got down to a much lower weight, my thighs would still be a little larger…. but I’m trying to be okay with them the way they are. I don’t want my thighs to be the reason I think I should lose more weight. I could be stuck in that trap forever!

I know a lot of us struggle with that one (or two) body part that no matter how much weight we’ve lost, it still bothers us in some way. For me, it’s my thighs (and about once a week my stomach joins the club). I know others are frustrated with not having a flat stomach after losing a lot of weight. The list could go on and I’m sure we could all add our own less-than-perfect body part.

But really, why do we beat ourselves up over that not so flat stomach or larger thighs? I know I sometimes lose sight of the bigger picture – the weight I’ve already lost and how much healthier I am because of my new eating and exercise habits. I know so many people have come really far in their weight loss journey and I think we should be proud of that and focus on it, rather than think “if I lost another 5 pounds, my stomach would look the way I want it to” or obsess over an area on the body that isn’t perfectly toned and slim or think we have to be skinny to be healthy and beautiful.

Reaching your weight loss goal does not automatically make you love your body. I’ve learned this since achieving my goal weight as, like I said, there are days when I still find things to nitpick. I think you have to find that acceptance within yourself and realize that being a certain weight doesn’t equate to happiness. I think you have to look at yourself and see the things you love rather than the things that you consider flaws (easier said than done, I know).

So today, be proud of what you’ve accomplished and don’t let that one body part bother you. When you look at the big picture, we’ve come so far and your stomach, hips, thighs, etc aren’t going to change that!


The past week

June 6, 2009

I’ve definitely been MIA from blogging for a bit. Since I started working more hours last week, I’ve been pretty busy! Here’s a quick recap of the past week:


Josh & I had a date night. It started with me making dinner for him (pumpkin gnocchi – I’ll have to post a recipe later) and then we ended up renting a movie and buying some frozen yogurt (chocolate… yum!). It was really nice to have a night in and spend some time together after both of us being busy during the week.

Monday & Tuesday

Both of these days were work days. I was out of the house early both days to rive to a nearby town. I spent the day doing the usual work stuff – observations and interviews. I also have a confession – I have a mad crush on the one teacher at the school we go to. I feel like I’m back in elementary school!!

On Monday, my roommates and I went for dinner to Kelseys. Going out to eat still stresses me a little – probably leftover from when I was losing weight. But I looked at my options ahead of time and planned out what I was going to get. I decided to get a chicken sandwich and swapped the fries for a salad with fat-free raspberry vinaigrette. So I didn’t do too badly at all!


I worked my first ever night shift starting at 11pm! I was working in a residence building at my school keeping an eye on the kids staying there for the university’s camp. It’s super easy – in fact, I basically played crazy eights and chatted with my work partner all night. It turns out it’s a small world – he went to high school with my one roommate! Anyway, I was up until 6am which brings us to….


I went home after work and slept until 8am. I then got up to go teach a camp class at the university from 9-11am. Yes, I’m clearly insane! One of the ambassadors that stays with the school group saw me the night before and then again when he walked into the classroom. He could not believe it! I assured him I was fine – I slept during the day Wednesday and then napped when I finished night shift. Those ambassadors are the crazy ones – they’re routinely up until after midnight in the residences when they have to be back there for 8am the next morning! I can’t imagine that for two months!


I worked night shift again, 11pm-6am. Then I came home and napped until 9ish. At that point I was off to the university to participate in a research study. I had my brainwaves recorded.. super cool! Well, except for the gel they use to amplify the waves. It was gross times – I went right home and showered to wash it out of my hair. On the plus side, I got fed some cookies and paid money! Yay!


My sleep schedule is back to normal and I have big plans for resumes today! How exciting! I also have to finish a quiz for my summer class… yuck. And maybe I’ll finally get back on the treadmill for a run.

Maintenance has been going pretty well. I’m down to 134.0 since I lost 1.0 this week and 1.5 last week. I think it’s all the running around for work and the fact that I have less time to snack since I’m out and about.

I’m off to make some lunch and then get down to business with those job apps!


May 5, 2009

It’s official – I met my goal when I weighed myself this morning! I’m at 135.5!

I can barely believe that I actually did it! When I initially set my goal at 140, I didn’t think I’d make that, let alone lose an additional 5 pounds! I have lost 37.5 pounds. I went from wearing a size 14/16 to wearing a size 8! Holy exclamations marks, I know, but I’m excited!

I’m back to where I was in high school, when I considered myself a perfectly acceptable, average weight. While I’m still struggling with feeling heavier than I currently am, I know I’m on the road to a healthier body image. It’s all a matter of when my mind will catch up to the reality.  I already do feel better though. I don’t hide in sweaters and baggy shirts. I bought a short skirt last week. I don’t feel ashamed of the cashier at clothing stores seeing what size I wear.

I know I’ve come really far with fitness too. A year ago, I could barely make it through 15 minutes on the elliptical. Now, my longest workout to date was 50 minutes and there was definitely no slacking in that! When I started running, I was out of breath after a minute or two. Now I’m breezing through 15 minutes straight on the treadmill and completing 40-45 minute workouts. I’m planning on running a 5K in the fall. I have muscle definition on my arms. I did level one of the 30 Day Shred a couple times recently and didn’t die, unlike when I first tried it.

I think I have a lot to be proud of so today I’m taking the time to acknowledge how far I’ve come!

Weigh-in and social comparisons

April 27, 2009

Happy Monday! I hope that’s not an oxymoron… but it’s a lovely day here so happy it is!

I weighed in this morning and ….. 135.8! Down 1.7 pounds from last week! As my goal is 135 I’m pretty much there, but as I did set my deadline for the first Monday in May, I’m giving myself that extra week to get closer to 135.0. It may be a challenge as we are having house guests from Thursday until Monday, but I think I can manage it.

I can’t believe I’m almost at goal. I’ve been trying to get here for so long that it almost felt surreal to look down at the scale and see those numbers. I haven’t weighed 135 since high school! Since I’m turning 23 this year, it’s been almost 5 years! It’s a great feeling and I’m not letting anything else take away from it.

Not even those dreaded social comparisons. When I read Angela’s morning post on social comparisons relating to running, I realized “that’s me, but with weight loss”.

I’m a member of a blogging community where each member gets their own page complete with blogging, photos, about me, comments, etc. Popular weigh-in days appear to be Monday, Thursday and Saturday so updates pop up regularly through the day each of those days. Some members are posting losses, others gains and others no change. I find it very difficult not to compare my weigh-ins to anyone else’s.

I’ll read a post saying something like “I lost 2.5 pounds this week even though I ate fast food three times and didn’t work out at all” or “I only lost 1.5 this week, I’m disappointed”. These are just examples, not what people have actually posted, but there are similar themes. I read ones like the first and think “What the heck am I doing wrong?” when the truth is, I’m not doing anything wrong. Maybe I have to stick to eating healthy and working out 5-6 days a week to lose 1 pound while others can be more lax – my body is not the same as other people’s. We are all different both outwardly and inwardly. Just because one person can lounge around eating junk food and still lose weight, it does not mean that I can do that or that I’m not trying hard enough if I don’t lose more than them while sticking to my plan.

It should not take away from what I’ve done. I shouldn’t feel upset when reading someone’s disappointment over losing “only” 1.5 pounds if I lost 1.2. That doesn’t mean my loss is a disappointment and I’m sure the same person would congratulate me on an excellent loss because that 1.5 is based on their own standards or goals and they aren’t applying it to everyone. I shouldn’t feel upset or lazy when someone loses double what I did by eating at Mickey D’s three times that week and only working out once. Why not?

Because everyone is different.

I need to remember that next time I read one of those posts and immediately feel defeated or jealous. It’s not a competition or a race. It’s about getting healthy and feeling better about who I am.

And today I’m celebrating my “almost goal” by going shopping for some much needed summer clothes. The weather is warming up (up to 27C today) and I can’t wait to feel comfortable wearing summer clothes again. It’s been way too long!

Please come back, spring!

April 6, 2009

I weighed in this morning and I was down 3.3 pounds! And my BMI is 24.4 – in the healthy range!

I now weigh 137.8 pounds. I haven’t been in the 130’s in ages (grade 11/12 was the last time) and it feels great to be back there. I also can’t believe how close I am to my goal of 135, and now I’ve surpassed my original goal of 140 that I set when I started losing weight. It’s an amazing feeling and it’s really going to help me get through the last 2.8 pounds.

As a reward today I’m going to head to Old Navy and buy that pair of size 8 jeans that I fit into a couple weeks ago, as well as a new belt. My size 10s are getting a little loose and I definitely need to wear a belt with both pairs, so I think it’s about time, and what a better time to do it than after a great weigh-in!

In other random news, I looked out my window this morning and saw snow! They are calling for 15cm! WHAT? This just shouldn’t be allowed. I mean: 1) it’s officially spring (as of March 21 or 22), 2) it’s April and 3) it was 10C yesterday with nothing but sun. Just when you think winter is gone…


March 23, 2009

After my gain of 0.4 last week (putting my weight to 144.6), I was really hoping to see 143 point anything this morning. Well, I didn’t see 143. Or 142. I saw 141.3! I lost 3.3 pounds this week! I can barely believe it – this is the most weight I’ve lost in one week! So now I have 1.3 pounds left to reach my goal weight of 140 which puts me at a healthy BMI for the first time in a long time.

I can’t believe that I could see my goal weight at next week’s weigh-in. That sure is motivation to eat healthy and exercise all week. If I don’t see my goal weight, I won’t be disappointed. How can I be when I’m so close and if I don’t see it next week, it could just as easily be the week after!

I have been considering adding a new goal of weighing 135 pounds. Because I’m so close to my goal weight, I have a pretty good idea of how I’m going to look when I get there – 1.3 pounds more lost isn’t going to change anything drastically (unless it ALL managed to come off my tummy or thighs or something). I think 135 will put me in a comfortable place. And considering that the weight is still coming off easily, I think my body will allow for it. I definitely wouldn’t try for 135 if I was posting small losses each week, or posting gains frequently.

So my game plan is this: I’m going to stick to what I’ve been doing with healthy eating and exercise since it seems to be working well. But I’m giving myself a deadline for getting to 135. If I’m not there by May 1st, I’m sticking to whatever weight I’m at on that date. I think May 1st is reasonable – it means I would just have to lose about a pound per week for the next month and a bit. I think that goal is attainable.

I’m also going to start thinking about a maintenance plan. I’m most likely going to start adding calories back in slowly so my body doesn’t go crazy. I already have some simple ideas that won’t involve a drastic change to my eating and will increase a couple hundred calories a day back into my diet:

  • switching back to full-fat cheese instead of low-fat
  • using 2/3 c skim milk in my oatmeal every morning instead of all water or only 1/3 c skim
  • eating full-fat yogurt instead of low-cal, low-fat stuff
  • always having a serving of fresh fruit or veggies with lunch
  • having lean beef at dinner some nights instead of always chicken or fish

So I think even small changes will be effective and I’ll have more room for the occasional splurge. Obviously I’ll have to play around with things to make sure I’m maintaining and not still losing each week. But I think I can do it

Baking Adventure – Banana Bread

March 9, 2009

Today I made some banana bread! I stopped at Bulk Barn on the way home from school and picked up whole wheat flour, chocolate chips and baking powder (which I apparently already had at time – oh well, now I have lots!). It came to $1.67 (I know, big spender) which of course I had to debit because Tim Horton’s has been stealing away my change all week (a.k.a I can’t resist getting drinks there when Roll up the Rim is on).

Here’s what you need:

1/3 c white sugar
1/3 c brown sugar
1/8 c unsweetened applesauce
1 egg + 1 egg white
1 c mashed bananas (about 2 bananas)
1/4 c water
1 tsp vanilla
1 c all purpose flour + 2/3 c whole wheat flour
1 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp baking powder
1/3 c chocolate chips (optional)

Here’s what you do:

1/ Preheat oven to 350F. Spray a 9×5 loaf pan.
2/ Beat the white sugar, brown sugar and applesauce until smooth. Mix in the eggs, water, bananas and vanilla until it’s well blended.
3/ Mix together your flours, baking soda and baking powder in a separate bowl. Then add to banana mixture and stir in just until moistened. If you’re adding chocolate chips, throw them in now!
4/ Bake for 45-50 minutes. You’ll know it’s done when it’s nice and golden brown on the top, and when you insert a fork/knife/skewer of some sort, it should come out clean.
5/ Let cool in the pan for 10 minutes or so and then remove from the pan.


There’s everything mixed in – except one thing!


Here come the chocolate chips! Mmm!


All ready to go in the oven!


Here’s the finished product!

What’s on the agenda for the rest of the afternoon:

  • work on my seminar paper (I’m aiming to complete another page, for a total of 3/5 done)
  • lesson plans for final week of the reading program
  • some sort of exercise – a walk if the weather holds, or 25-30 mins on the elliptical

I’ll see if I can get some more school work done, but I’m not feeling overly ambitious for today so we’ll see how it goes!

One last note: today was weigh-in day and I was happy to see that I’m down 1.1 pounds! I’m now at 144.2 pounds, with only 4.2 left to lose until I’m at 140! I’m thinking in a week or two that I’ll head to Old Navy and try on those size 8 jeans that were too snug before!