Restless Mind

I had tons of trouble getting to sleep last night. My body felt tired but my mind was going and I had all these thoughts running through my head. I ended up finally falling asleep at 2:30am and then woke up at 9:15am. So much for my good sleep schedule! I know I’ll be ready for bed at a decent time tonight though!

One positive thing so far today though is this: I weighed myself and I’m now at 146.8 pounds. Only 6.8 more pounds to go before I’m at 140 and a healthy BMI! I’m still finding it hard to believe that I’ve lost nearly 25 pounds. I never thought I could lose even 5, but here I am! It’s a nice feeling to have accomplished something I never thought possible.

Lately I’ve been considering changing my goal, but I decided, after thinking last night, to play it by ear. I’ll see how I feel when I get to 140. Maybe after losing the last bit of weight, it will come off the areas that I’d like to see slim down more – I’m talking to you, thighs! The thing is, I don’t want to start saying “just 5 more pounds” every time I reach goal and find something to nitpick. That’s a dangerous road and I don’t want to go down it. I also know what weight my body is comfortable at – the lowest I’ve ever weighed (after puberty, that is) and easily maintained was 130-135. I don’t want maintenance to be an uphill battle and if I’m going to work out a lot in maintenance, it will be to reach fitness goals, not to battle every piece of food I eat and stop the scale.

So, these have been my thoughts as of late. I think playing it by ear is my best option. It’s hard to know how you’ll look at a certain weight. You can’t really predict where the weight will come off first. So 140 was my rough estimate of where I’d fit into a size 8, back when I was wearing a 14/16, and I had no way of knowing what shape my body would be in overall at that point. I think it’s alright to change my goal, as long as it doesn’t continually change. The most I will allow is setting a goal of 135 instead of 140. After that, it’s maintenance time.

I have a busy day of school work ahead of me (and a walk out in the beautiful sunshine) but I will post my meals (with some photos) later tonight.


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